Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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