I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
