For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
jump out the window naked night went bad
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
