some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
