its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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