I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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