my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
