it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
