HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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