This house was built for laser tag.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize