the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
