I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
