a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
