Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
