After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
