I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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