i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
