my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
