i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
