Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize