id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
