he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
