grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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