i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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