I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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