i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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