Jerry, you need to find god
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
