I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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