You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize