Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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