is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
