So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
