Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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