Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
