check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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