Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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