White coat. Heels.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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