someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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