I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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