I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
