Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
