Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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