i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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