So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize