i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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