it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
