i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
When did angry sex become our thing?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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