Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
