so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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