Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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