this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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