i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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