Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
