i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
