I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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