dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
