Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
