After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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