In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
