its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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