Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
