Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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