i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
