That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
