Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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