You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize