i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
