When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
