I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
someone owes me an orgasm
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
